Interview with Lord High Guru Mike Valle
Mike Valle, affectionately known to millions as the "Lord High Guru of Chattanooga", is head of the Bermuda Triangle Project at Cambridge. He has received a Ph.D. in dowsing from the Prahavadananda Institute of Advanced Wholistic Medical Technology (accredited by the Prahavadananda Institute of Advanced Wholistic Medical Technology Unbiased Accrediting Organization), after completing a dissertation on "Jesus, Berkeley, and Franklin Merill-Wolff: The Amazing Case for Visitation from Neptune and Its Impact on Global Warming." He is also author of the acclaimed children's book, P is for Pakriti.
Editor: Dr. Valle, you have described yourself on occasion as a "battering ram against Michael Martin's atheistic philosophy of the Demiurge." Would you still characterize yourself that way?
Valle: Well, there's still much truth in that title, but nowadays I prefer to think of myself as more of a "Virtua-Fighter for Brahman" since I'm concentrating more on the Bermuda triangle these days.
Editor: Speaking of the Bermuda Triangle, I've heard that Vladimir Krapkov and many other great scientists and mathematicians have come out in favor of the derivations you made.
Valle: That's true, a great many of them.
Editor: Who are some of the others besides Vladimir Krapkov?
Valle: Well, I can't mention anyone by name, of course, because of the magnitude of the project, but I can tell you that NASA and the CIA have both expressed a great deal of interest. You see, they believe that if we are able to mine out the amazing stealth technology buried in Atlantis, we might be able to use it to our advantage when the aliens inevitably invade. They're watching us right now. I see them.
Editor: I'm not sure I understand - how do you know the people of Atlantis possessed stealth technology? And even if they had it, how do you know it survived all this time?
Valle: Well, the first is a matter of Kantian mereological reasoning, and the second comes from a simple application of quantum reasoning. You see, according to mereology, the parts can be added up to give you something that is different from the parts. And Kant thought that we couldn't see reality - that is to say, the transcendent. All we could see is the reflection of reality as sorted out by our minds. So it follows that when you add up those visible distorted pieces, you get the whole transcendent, and this transcendent is visible. So the distorted pieces are the divisions of the Kingdom of Atlantis into its separate manifestations of the Atman as pakriti, and therefore the whole, the Brahman, must be invisible. But how can the whole be invisible when the pieces are not? Therefore, it must be a form of stealth shielding, like something like the chaotic crystallization of a differential manifold of functions in the realm of the Forms, trickling down into physical space in the shapes ancient civilizations have chosen to call "the Gods."
Editor: I see.
Valle: And they must persist because quantum mechanics shows that our universe is holistic, or perhaps we should rather call it "wholistic." The quantum identities form an unbroken nonlocality, a sort of relativistic hologram from which the essence of time can be distilled. And what is the essence of time but the mirror of Ishwara, who is one with the unbroken whole of Brahman, being Brahman but not Brahman? So, therefore, the essence of the stealth shield manifested in pakriti must itself be a distillation of Brahman, and therefore coexisting at all times, though not identical to the whole. (See attached diagram.)
Editor: And this is what you mean when you say that it is kind of like an empty fullness.
Valle: Or a full emptiness.
Editor: Well, thank you for your lucid explanation. Your path has truly been guided by the spirits of Atlantis. However, we're out of time, so we'll have to say goodbye for now. Good luck with the Bermuda Triangle Project.
Valle: Many thanks, and may you reach nirvikalpi samadhi with minimal interference from your samskaras.